I Just Realized

 So a lot of people love Binaural audio or 8D music (including a few of my friends) and in general it seems to be something the neurodivergent people find nice stimmy.

However I absolutely hate it. It make me feel weirdly anxious in a way i could never really place. I find the concept fun and when I was younger I used to enjoy it, so I could never really explain why i hate it now.

But I just realized why it upsets me to listen to it! 

Over the years I'm intermittently lost hearing in one of my ears (mostly due to simple stuff like an ear infection or wax buildup) but whenever it's happened I've gone through like a day or two of irrational paranoia that it was going to be permanent.

The most recent time it happened was during my birthday, and since I went on a weekend trip with my friends I couldn't go to the hospital for a few days.

Meaning I spent about 5 or 6 days freaking out that I was going to permanently lose hearing in that ear (I have really bad anxiety about having medical problems that might impact my life in the long term)

So now when i listen to binaural audio it subconsciously reminds me of that experience!

Daily Life Post

 As my time as a student wraps up I'm starting to think about what the fuck i'm going to do after.

Well aside from desperately applying to get a job asap. XD

There's so many things that I've been putting off for after graduation because I simply didn't have the time or energy for them... and soon I'll have to actually try to do them! :0

I won't be done with school until the end of June but I like being able to pre-plan stuff well in advance so here's a non-comprehensive list of stuff I want to do after June!

• Resume learning German
• Work on more art that is just for fun rather than for school
• Hang out with my friends again (Places are now fully open again for the first time since covid started so there's so much we could do!!!)
• Go out drinking! (I'm over 18 now and bars have re-opened so I wanna try it. Though I don't think i'll like it XD )
  
• Finally crochet again! :D
• Go to a convention again! (There's one in July!)  :D
• Read actual books again (I have so many books sitting on my shelf waiting for me to start/finish them)
• Work on stuff for the artist alley table I'm sharing at the convention in July (It's gonna be my first time trying to sell my art!) 
• Finally learn some coding

There's definitely more and I have no idea if i'll actually get around to everything on this list but I'm excited to get some of it done! :D